What is True Intimacy?
Most people think of intimacy as sex through copulation or as being close to another body. When you put body parts together it is really just copulation. Although sex and copulation are fun when you add true intimacy into your life it can enhance the sex and copulation that much more!
The Elements of True Intimacy
- Honor
- Allowance
- Vulnerability
- Trust
- Gratitude
First of all, you must first be able to have true intimacy with yourself before you can truly create a greater relationship with other anyone. Let’s take a look at the different elements of intimacy and what we can do to create more of these in our world.
Honor
Do you honor yourself? What is it to honor yourself? Honoring isn’t about worshiping yourself or putting yourself on a pedastal, which is what many people think of as honor. Honoring yourself is treating yourself first with kindness and respect. Being kind to your body and not judging you. Many people are in constant judgment of themselves that they are too fat, too thin, a new pimple has shown up, their hair is turning grey and the list goes on. Judgment is the greatest unkindness we can do to ourselves. To truly honor yourself you must stop judging yourself and your body and your life. When you begin to have kindness for you and respect for you, this will return to you from others. They will treat you with a kindness and a respect that you have for you and this honoring will overflow into all your relationships, with family, friends and lovers.
Allowance
What is it have allowance for yourself. It is for you to have allowance of you no matter what you choose. The good, the bad and the ugly. This again involves not judging yourself for anything yet it will allow you to also make more consciousness. Have allowance for your choices and who it is you be. You are unique and different and a gift to the world and if we all see ourselves as that we can create a much happier world.
Once you have allowance for you. You will have more allowance for others too. Others are like you. They are unique and different and when you have allowance for everyone in your world, partners, children, friends to show up without judgment you will begin to create greater relationships with them.
Trust
What is real trust anyway? Trust is not having blind faith. Trust is allowing others to show up as they will without judgment of them and allowing them to be who they be. For example, maybe your partner leaves their dirty underwear on the floor all the time and it annoys the shit out of you. What if, rather than letting it annoy you, you just picked it up and put it in the hamper because you would like it clean. And just have the awareness that that is just something they do.
You cannot make other people change, but you can trust them to be who they are. The same goes for you, maybe you always leave the toilet seat up or maybe you have a habit you don’t particularly care for yet you do it anyway. What if you just allowed yourself to be and do whatever that is. You will find that when you begin to have the awareness of who and what people be, when you trust them to show up as who they be, not have blind faith, it will show you different possibilities that you never before have had.
Vulnerability
Often times, we have thought of vulnerability as a sign of weakness. Vulnerability is the complete opposite. Is a sign of our strength and potency. It is the ability to speak of ourselves and to have honesty with ourselves as to who we be and what we would like to create in the world and not ignoring the difficulties that show up in our world, but looking at them straight forward and creating greater no matter what is thrown our way. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and shine our light into the world it allows others to be vulnerable with you, to open up to you and to create a closeness that is greater then what most will experience when they cannot be vulnerable with themselves.
Gratitude
As I always say, gratitude changes everything. Have you been grateful for you lately and all that you have created? When you have gratitude for you, your creation and everything you be you will have a new appreciation for life. To be consciously grateful everyday can be a bit like building a muscle, but when you begin to be grateful for you and everything and everyone it will return to you tenfold or more.
Tool To Create More Gratitude
Everyday when you wake up look in the mirror and tell yourself you are grateful for you. Yes, you may think it is silly, but do it anyway. See how it changes your day. Then begin to add in all the other people and things in your life. When you are grateful for everything, even the difficult things in our world it can change everything.
